Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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