Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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