the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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