My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
