ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
