The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
