You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
