I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
