How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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