Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
