good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm getting married
To pizza
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
