So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
