I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
