She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
