you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
