My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
