Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
