I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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