ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
