I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
