turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
