Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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