Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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