Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize