Your dad touched me again.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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