I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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