Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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