IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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