Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them

(718): View more from New York

pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday

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(419): View more from Ohio

I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.

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(714): View more from California

considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned

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(419): View more from Ohio

apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"

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(732): View more from New Jersey

you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.

(504): View more from Louisiana

God works in mysterious ways.

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