I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
