Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm at about main and main street
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
