Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
