i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
