Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
