All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
