i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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