Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
