hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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