just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
