i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
