I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize