i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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