I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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