remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
