I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
