I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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