it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
