Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i wish my penis had a tongue
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
