Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
