a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
