I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize