Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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