i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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