Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Who died my cat blue again?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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