Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
