taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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