Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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