Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
