VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
